White Elephant is my favorite holiday gift exchange. Parties and get-togethers all over the world gather for one common goal—trade and steal junk. White Elephant is also a great way to celebrate diversity at the office.
White Elephant will be sent downrange to Afghanistan this year through the 10th Mountain Division adopt-a-platoon at Madison College thanks to the Clarion. Let’s take a journey through:
“The Top 5 Funniest Gifts for Any White Elephant Celebration.”
Rules of Engagement. First things first, let’s get something straight—there are rules—you just can’t do whatever you want. Please click on the link below to follow along and enjoy your holiday cheer with a little American democratic structure. We can’t have holidays without it! You know that! This is America! We don’t settle for gift exchange without a little Robert’s Rules of White Elephant Order.
The Top 5 Funniest Gifts for Any White Elephant Celebration.
Number Five— A used toilet plunger. Be sure to let the toilet paper dry onto the plunger before gifting.
Number Four—Bowling Shoes. The sole purpose of the White Elephant is to steal your gift. Bowling shoes are rarely stolen so the joke is on you! HAHA!
Number Three—Grandpa’s False Teeth. Thrift stores oftentimes sell false teeth. The look on your guest’s faces is priceless. Showing up to the party with the funniest gift gets you a special reward. False teeth are a guaranteed crowd favorite.
Number Two—Used Gift Cards with Zero Balance The best way to impress your boss is to be the employee who spent the entire balance of their gift card on yourself! Be sure to include receipts and selfies to turn their gears even more.
The Number One White Elephant Gift—Gag Winning Lottery Tickets. I have witnessed employees tell their bosses off at company parties and quit. Family members become truthful as well. Fake lottery tickets usually lead to siblings letting mom know what their other siblings really think of them. Mom often responds by telling siblings they are not getting any of their inheritance.
The funniest fake lottery ticket White Elephant prank of all-time I have ever witnessed was watching a cashier at a gas station reveal the bad news. The gift was watching the attendant’s reaction after telling the ecstatic soon-to-be-loser the lottery tickets were bunk. The attendant pointed their index finger declaring they would be calling the police if they try cashing the tickets again.
Disclaimer: Never get your hopes up going into a White Elephant Gift Exchange. You are the punchline the minute you open your gift. Stealing is the name of the game and being a good sport is the best part of holiday cheer. Got a brilliant idea for a White Elephant gift? Leave a comment.