White Elephant is my favorite holiday gift exchange. Parties and get-togethers all over the world gather for one common goal—trade and steal junk. White Elephant is also a great way to celebrate diversity at the office.

White Elephant will be sent downrange to Afghanistan this year through the 10th Mountain Division adopt-a-platoon at Madison College thanks to the Clarion. Let’s take a journey through:

“The Top 5 Funniest Gifts for Any White Elephant Celebration.”

Rules of Engagement. First things first, let’s get something straight—there are rules—you just can’t do whatever you want. Please click on the link below to follow along and enjoy your holiday cheer with a little American democratic structure. We can’t have holidays without it! You know that! This is America! We don’t settle for gift exchange without a little Robert’s Rules of White Elephant Order.

White Elephant Things To Know

The Top 5 Funniest Gifts for Any White Elephant Celebration.

Number Five— A used toilet plunger. Be sure to let the toilet paper dry onto the plunger before gifting.

Number Four—Bowling Shoes. The sole purpose of the White Elephant is to steal your gift. Bowling shoes are rarely stolen so the joke is on you! HAHA!

Number Three—Grandpa’s False Teeth. Thrift stores oftentimes sell false teeth. The look on your guest’s faces is priceless. Showing up to the party with the funniest gift gets you a special reward. False teeth are a guaranteed crowd favorite.

Number Two—Used Gift Cards with Zero Balance The best way to impress your boss is to be the employee who spent the entire balance of their gift card on yourself! Be sure to include receipts and selfies to turn their gears even more.

The Number One White Elephant Gift—Gag Winning Lottery Tickets. I have witnessed employees tell their bosses off at company parties and quit. Family members become truthful as well. Fake lottery tickets usually lead to siblings letting mom know what their other siblings really think of them. Mom often responds by telling siblings they are not getting any of their inheritance.

The funniest fake lottery ticket White Elephant prank of all-time I have ever witnessed was watching a cashier at a gas station reveal the bad news. The gift was watching the attendant’s reaction after telling the ecstatic soon-to-be-loser the lottery tickets were bunk. The attendant pointed their index finger declaring they would be calling the police if they try cashing the tickets again.

Disclaimer: Never get your hopes up going into a White Elephant Gift Exchange. You are the punchline the minute you open your gift. Stealing is the name of the game and being a good sport is the best part of holiday cheer. Got a brilliant idea for a White Elephant gift? Leave a comment.

 

 

by Centaur Five Delta ’95-’97

What you can do:
Donate to our troops: 10th Mountain Adopt-a-platoon mission

Madison College Clarion Broadcast Group hosts the FOB Fenty 10th Mountain Adopt-a-platoon through the Outpost 422 mission. Your donations will be spent on the following items:

Most Requested Care Package Items

Batteries (AA, AAA, C, and D)
Boot socks: black, tan, or olive green
Letters of support (letters from you, from children, or from your
business, office, school, or other organization in support of our troops)
Liquid body wash (no pump dispensers please)
Pre-sweetened flavored beverage mixes (smaller sizes please)
Sandwich sized zipper lock baggies
Single-serving size snacks and non-perishable food items, particularly tuna kits, beef jerky, canned fruit (small containers, pop-top lid), dried fruit, nuts and other healthy snacks
Undershirts (olive green, short sleeve)

Food Items
Please do not send bags of chips. They will not make the transition.
Beef jerky, beef summer sausage (non-perishable, USDA Beef)
Canned cheese dips (NO glass please)
Canned sardines, smoked oysters
Chicken or tuna lunch kits (includes foil pouch of tuna, crackers, and condiments in each single-serving kit)
Cookies
Fruit: single serving size cans
Gum, Lifesavers®, mints (blister pack gum is best because of the intense heat)
Hard candy (single-wrapped)
Jalapeno Velveeta® and crackers
Nuts, sunflower seeds, peanuts, trail mix, dried fruit
Pop Tarts®, cereal bars, granola bars, Popcorn
Power bars, protein bars, nutritional bars
Ramen noodles
Ravioli and other canned ready-to-eat meals (single serving) with pop-top
Seasoning salts, flavoring salts
Single-serving bags of snacks, crackers
Taco Bell® sauce packets

Beverage Items
Crystal Light® (or other brand) “On the Go” flavor packets
Ground coffee
Hot cocoa
Instant coffee
Lemonade mix, Kool-Aid® mix, Tang®, Iced Tea mix
Sports drink mix (powdered and tablet only)
Sugar and creamer packets for coffee (No artificial sweetener)
Recreation Items

Gently used magazines less than three months old
Hacky sacks, tennis balls
Movie DVDs (new or used; original only)
New decks of cards
Small hand-held games
Soft cover books

Clothing Items

Balaclavas
Black or white cotton socks
Boot bands
Boot socks: black, tan, or olive green
Fingerless gloves
Long underwear (during winter months)
Men’s and women’s underwear (try military surplus stores)
Stocking caps (plain or black)
Sunglasses
Tactical scarves
T-shirts (olive drab or white)

Communication Items

Envelopes
Pens and unsharpened pencils
Small, blank journals
Small pads of paper

Personal Supply Items

72″ bootlaces (brown or tan preferred)
Batteries (AA are most requested, then AAA)
Cigars
Disposable, instant hand warmers (during the winter months only)
Electrical tape
Leatherman all-in-one tool
Snack, sandwich, quart-size Ziploc plastic bags
Super glue
Tactical duct tape: military green, tan, or black
Foot Care Items

DO NOT send baby powder
Anti-fungal treatments
Band-Aids® (sweat/water resistant)
Boot liners/insoles
Lotrimin AF® or Tinactin® for athletes’ foot (Ointment or cream, no aerosol)
Medicated foot powder, medicated foot swabs (Gold Bond® preferable)
Moleskin (provides padding on sore feet, you’ll find it with Dr. Scholl’s® type things at Wal-Mart or drug stores)
Odor Eaters® for boots

Personal Care Items

Baby wipes for personal hygiene (alcohol-free)
Disposable hand sanitizing wipes
Eye drops (to relieve dry eye, not redness), Eyeglass wipes
Insect repellent
Lip balm (Blistex®, Chapstick®, Carmex®) in stick-tubes rather than tubs, not tinted
Liquid hand sanitizers (no pump-style dispensers)
Pain relievers (Aspirin, Ibuprofen, Tylenol®, Midol®) in small containers
Saline spray/drops for sensitive nasal passages
Sunblock (travel size or stick preferable, no aerosol, SPF 30+)
Throat lozenges
Travel size packages of Q-tips
Women’s feminine wipes

Toiletry Items

Dental floss
Disposable multi-blade razors (no single-blade razors please)
Kleenex (travel-size packets)
Liquid body wash soap, liquid anti-bacterial soap (no bar soap or pump-style dispensers)
Lotion, unscented, for dry skin (no pump-style dispensers)
Men’s and women’s deodorant
Nail clippers
Oral B Brush-Ups™
Razors and replacement blades
Shampoo
Toothbrushes
Toothpaste (in hard-side tubes rather than traditional tubes

The Clarion Broadcast Group is raising funds to support FOB Fenty in Afghanistan and we need your help.

What you can do:

Donate to our troops: 10th Mountain Adopt-a-platoon mission

Our Dec. 8 deadline is fast approaching. We are looking to donate items to our Bravo Troop of 6-6 CAV who is newly deployed to Afghanistan. We have adopted 10th Aviation as our platoon at Madison College through the Clarion Broadcast Group. Outpost 422 is their place to connect to let us know how they are doing, to write features about their mission, to raise awareness about the current state of crisis in America to connect with veterans, to assist with crisis management solutions distributed through the Outpost 422 mission.

Our fundraising efforts interact with those who are in crisis.  You are their overwatch and support.

If you are a veteran who is in crisis at the moment, please reach out to any of the listed Facebook pages located on our menu for help worldwide. We are a global fundraising and combat radio transmitting overwatch to connect you with services in the time of crisis. We also hope to connect all who are currently serving the military with veterans who are available with the click of a mouse. Our mission is to entertain, educate, reach out to all who are in need by offering a portal to other veterans who have been in your position including me.

My name is Specialist Bradley Jason Burt of the 3rd Battalion 6th Field Artillery 1st Brigade 10th Mountain Division who served during the embassy overthrow in Port au Prince, Haiti as a QRF member for the airport and 10 MP LIC. I let my trauma go untreated for far too long, that was until I found help at Building 22 at the Madison VA. We are the VITAL veterans who have survived and lived to tell the story of success after finding services to help us survive. Keep checking in and help us raise funds for our adopted platoon.

What Makes the 10th Mountain Division the Toughest Division in the Military
By Bradley J. Burt

The cold weather and subzero elements make for a miserable nine months per year at Fort Drum, N.Y., the home of the 10th Mountain Division. The toughest division in the military is located at the basin of record snowfall dumps of lake effect snow. Soldiers of the 10th Mountain Division and their 12-mile runs around Riva Ridge Loop endure temperatures ranging from -20 to sometimes -60 below. Never-the-less, they suit up, they show up, they gear up, their frozen eyes tear up to embrace the suck for the duration of their service to America while stationed at Drum.

So, what makes the 10th Mountain Division so tough?

They are the most deployed division in the United States military who spends most of their time training for war through programs like the Joint Readiness Training Center in Fort Polk, La. They never forget those who are deployed who use programs to adopt platoons at Forward Operating Base Fenty in Afghanistan. Their gallantry above the call and their guts are met by their dedication to wear the mountain tab. They carry their American colors on their right shoulder, who carry warrior honor with them for the rest of their lives. Their dedication to democracy and freedom in Afghanistan extends the warrior threshold unmet by any other division. Those who have served at Fort Drum know full well the level of sacrifice and dedication it takes to serve the 10th Mountain Division. They earn the right to share their equity of honor and integrity in America who should be recognized as the toughest division.

The 10th Mountain Division motto: “Climb to Glory.”

Their determination and guts are like no other division. They train cadets at Gen. George Washington’s elite West Point United States Military Academy. Soldiers of the 10th Mountain Division who share the honor of being cadre build 100,000 sandbag fortified positions. Their instruction is of the highest quality and standard formulated under intense scrutiny carried out by the heritage of their West Point commanders. Their standards must meet the highest inspection through the Department of Defense to meet this criterion. While all the other divisions sleep at night, they eat, breathe, carry and present the torch of the truest of all virtues not found on any other base. They are the 10th Mountain Division. They do not waiver. They hold their virtues they swear at Reveille to leave no warrior behind. They are brave. They never surrender.

The forging of a 10th Mountain Division warrior requires high standards. The only way through the gauntlet of becoming a 10th Mountain warrior is by setting the physical fitness standard. The 10th Mountain Division hosts “Fit to Fight” that will not settle for the minimal U.S. Army wimp standard of a 180 P.T. score. All those who serve the frontlines must hold a 240 P.T. score, which sets the 10th Mountain Division’s combat-ready standard high above the regular Army garrison standard. Those who earn the mountain tab never miss a day at the gym.

The 10th Mountain Division always picks up its wounded. What separates a member of the 10th Mountain Division above all the other divisions is their distinguished character. They do not stop until every piece of equipment, members of their platoons and squads, all who have perished and their families are accounted for.  Their family may leave the military with the burden of grief, but the 10th Mountain Division always finds ways to support them long after they return home. They build their legacy from the ground up by adopting platoons in Afghanistan who write about their accomplishments long after they leave the military. They never stop training and protecting their communities. They become American Legion, DAV and VFW National Commanders to continuously search for all of those who are lost. They are the founders of Outpost 422. They never stop making their nation’s safety the highest standard as veterans. They are the 10th Mountain Division—the Toughest Division in the Military. They earned this title being thee most deployed division. They meet each day with the call above and beyond their duty. They Climb to Glory.

MILWAUKEE, Wis.—Gray Colton, Chairperson for the Robert W. Baird & Co. Patriot Veteran Hiring Program invited veterans of the University of Wisconsin Whitewater to attend the Baird Patriot Veteran Career Forum on Friday, November 1st, 2019. Gray Colton is the Senior Vice President of Private Wealth and Management for the Robert W. Baird & Co.

Colton arranged to have the 101st Airborne Commander share his mission with members of the Patriot program and veterans. Colton was pleased to see so many veterans turned out to support the Patriot mission, who gave a cordial introduction to Major General Brian Winski.

“We are honored to have Eagle Six with us today,” said Colton.

Colton introduced Major General Brian Winski, Milwaukee, WI native and graduate from the University of Wisconsin Milwaukee as “Eagle Six,” which is the 101st Airborne Commander’s call sign in the field and in combat. Major General Winski began his speech addressing the need to hire veterans who shared the value of having veterans in the workplace.

“Every man and woman who wears America’s uniform is a part of a long unbroken line of achievement and honor. No single military power in history has done greater good, shown greater courage, liberated more people or upheld higher standards of decency and valor than the Armed Forces of the United States of America,” said Winski.

Major General Brian Winksi, Post Commanding General of the 101st Airborne Division left the impression Wisconsin holds an ironclad lineage with his division who dates all the way back to the Civil War through the 8th Wisconsin Infantry Regiment. Eagle Six shared the story of how the 101st modeled the efforts of those who served with the 8th in the Civil War and their mascot “Old Abe,” which is the icon for the 101st Airborne Screaming Eagle patch.

Wisconsin 101st Airborne Heritage Speaks

Maj. Gen. Winski closed his address to the Baird Patriot Hiring Program members by reiterating to employers the level of dedication a veteran commits to their country also follows them into their prospective careers. Maj. Gen. Winski extended his appreciation to veterans by taking an opportunity after his presentation to answer questions regarding Syria, Afghanistan and Africa. Winski closed with his expression of gratitude extended to all who serve. Robert W. Baird, the Baird Patriot Veteran Hiring Program and the message shared by Major General Brian Winski shared one thing in common—all appreciate the efforts by all who have served.